The Survey
by RaeRambles
Summary: 2AM. Tuesday. Alec just wants to do his calculus homework so he can sleep. Magnus needs someone to do a survey of great importance. He's decided that Alec is his target. Alec is debating using Magnus for target practice. AU/AH


**Oh god. This is why I don't write really really late at night (totally a lie, I do it all the time). I always end up writing something I don't really need to. So instead of writing the next chapter of my endlessly long fic, I wrote this oneshot.**

 **Magnus and Alec are in University. Literally nothing else needs to be known to read this.**

 _Based on the tumblr prompt: "i just need someone to take this survey for my statistics course why won't you fUCKING TAKE IT"_

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"I hate calculus." Alec mumbled under his breath, the problem in front of him blurring slightly. He rubbed at his eyes and stared at the numbers in front of him, the problems were in English right? Was Alec supposed to know all these words? It was two am and Alec still couldn't finish his calculus homework. It was reaching the point where it was almost stupid for him to continue. He might as well just put the book away and ask Maia to walk him through the problems in the morning - or later in the morning, he supposed.

Just when Alec was debating between burning the book and just dropping the class - also in the cards was just marrying Maia so she could handle all his future calculus needs (like there were going to be any) - there was a sharp knock on the door.

Convinced it was his roommate, Alec got up, let out a groan and walked over to the door, flinging it open.

"For god's sake Simon, you have a fucking key."

"My name totally isn't Simon." Alec, who was in the process of rubbing a hand over his face and totally not looking at who was in front of him, opened his eyes to see a very tall, bright, not-Simon staring back at him. "Hi there!"

"What? Hi? It's, like, the middle of the night." Alec looked back at the clock on his desk, trying to make sure that he wasn't going crazy. "Can I, um, help you or something? Are you sure you have the right room?"

"Not looking for the right room!" This person, this someone, was disturbingly happy for it being so early. Alec couldn't decide if it was a nice change or if he wanted to punch them in the face.

"-just answer some questions and-"

"Huh?" Alec was jolted out of his daze and he blinked back at the guy who was cheerfully describing something. "Sorry, I totally wasn't listening."

The guy let out a dramatic huff, but nodded. "Fair enough. Look, I'm Magnus and I take statistics. I need you to fill out a teensy weeny survey and then I will leave forever."

"Hi Magnus, I'm Alec and no."

"What?"

"No?" Alec stared at Magnus, who stared right back.

"It's tiny."

"That's what she said." God, he was starting to sound like Jace.

"Come again?" Magnus seemed to be pretending like he was offended, though he wasn't any good and the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Look," Alec said, "I really have to do calculus. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing and I'm probably going to get a friend to do the problems for me later, but I still don't have time to do the survey. Ask Clary, she's nice."

"Who?"

Sighing again, because Magnus was nice to look at, sure, but didn't seem to be very on the ball for someone who was running around in the middle of the night trying to get people to do a survey. "The girl next door." He stuck his head out the door and pointed at the room beside his own. "Name: Clary. Status: Pushover. She'll totally do it for you." That was totally a lie, because Alec had been pestered Clary for months not to let people walk all over her and to finally grow a pair and stand up for herself, but Alec was willing to throw anyone under the bus to get rid of Magnus.

Magnus paused. "I need a male participant. I have a bunch of girls."

"Brilliant."

"So you'll take it?"

"Answer is still a no."

"I just-"

"No."

"I think-"

"No."

"But Alec-"

"No."

"If you could-"

"No." Every time that Alec said no, Magnus seemed to grow more and more frustrated. "Look, I'm in the middle-"

"I don't care if you're in the middle of filming a porno!" Magnus yelled, successfully catching the attention of the one other inhabitant of the hallway, a very drunk girl who was struggling to get into her room - Alec was sure her name was either Emma or Emily, though there was a slight chance it was Susan. The key that was in her hand seemed to baffle her and wouldn't open the room. She yelped when Magnus yelled, dropping the key altogether and blinking at them owlishly. "Hi?" Magnus offered.

"Hi." Emma or Emily (possibly Susan) slurred back, giving them a lopsided smile.

"Yeah, hi." Alec grumbled. "By the way, that's not your room."

"What?"

This is why Alec didn't party. Everyone was a moron after midnight.

"You're Helen's roommate right? Helen Blackthorn? Friend of mine. Lives in 256 - the room next to the one you're trying to open. Hence, that is not your room."

"Oh shit."

With Emma or Emily (still possibly Susan) successfully out of the hallway, Magnus turned back to Alec and gave him what he seemed to think was a winning smile. "Now that you helped that lovely lady, why don't you lend me a hand so I can be on my merry way." He thrust a pen at Alec, almost taking out one of his eyes. Alec dodged the pen, giving Magnus a filthy look.

"It's like three AM. There's no way I'm taking your stupid survey-"

"It's not stupid." Magnus said sharply, giving Alec one last jab with the pen. It hit Alec in the cheek, drawing a thin black line under his eye. Magnus clapped a hand over his mouth. A giggle slipped from between his lips, but Alec did nothing more than let out a long sigh.

"Okay." Alec said slowly. "My answer just became fuck no."

"Please?"

"Are you trying to give me puppy dog eyes?"

"No?"

"You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm not." Magnus said, suddenly earnest. "I just really need you to do this one tiny thing. It's super short and I just need you to-"

"Why can't you get one of your friends to do it?" Alec sighed. "Don't you have some?"

"Yeah." Magnus waved him off. "But none of them wanted to do it. They're all out drinking."

"It's Tuesday."

"Yeah. So?"

Alec shook his head. "No way Magnus. I'm wasting enough time standing here telling you that I can't waste any time with your survey-"

"What if I did your calculus homework?"

"What?" Alec blinked at him. Magnus did not look like the kind of person who would be really good at calculus. His fingernails were purple and he was wearing pants so tight Alec wondered how they weren't cutting off all the blood supply to his legs. Or maybe that was why Magnus didn't seem to be getting the clue that Alec wanted him to _leave_. Maybe he physically couldn't leave. Yeah, that had to be it, there was no one in the world who could be this stubborn.

"I'm awesome at calculus," Magnus insisted, taking Alec's confusion as a yes and pushing past him, successfully shattering Alec's theory that Magnus' legs had stopped working. "You said you were going to get a friend to do your homework. Well, now we're friends. I'll do your homework while you do mine. Then I'll get out of your hair."

"You mean you'll leave me the fuck alone?"

"Sure." Magnus nodded, scooping Alec's book off his desk. He turned around and threw something at Alec. Alec struggled to catch it, and when he did he couldn't quite believe what he was looking at. It had to be close to one hundred pages.

"I thought you said this was short." Alec said, staring at the giant package in his hands. "Magnus this is insane."

"We're friends." Magnus said, shaking his head. "You can't bail on me now."

"Magnus-"

"You can't."

"I don't have time for a survey that's this long. I don't have time at all!" Alec cried, gripping the pages tightly. "Magnus!"

Magnus had been studying Alec's calculus book with great fervour, but he stopped to peer over the top at Alec. "We had a deal. I do your homework and you do mine. That was the plan. Are you backing out on me? I thought we had a bond."

It was so ridiculous that Alec's mouth tugged up into an exhausted smile. "Okay, fine, fi- wait. Is there an essay portion to this?!"

"Now you can see why no one wanted to do it." Magnus hummed. Alec had gone back to sitting at his desk, so Magnus had chosen to make himself comfortable on Alec's bed, stretching out on the mattress. He didn't seem to be doing Alec's homework at all, but he was looking at the problems, so Alec shook his head and opened the package, figuring he might as well get it over with.

The first five pages were fairly easy, if not bizarre. They ranged from asking about Alec's sexuality to his favourite colour. There were questions about the day that he was born and a multiple choice section that was only about his favourite Lady Gaga songs - he didn't have any, so he picked C every time and hoped that Lovegame made sense as something he'd put on his 'nighttime mixtape' whatever the hell that was.

This was followed directly by six pages on food, five on a more in-depth look at Alec's favourite colour, and a solid ten about Alec's sense of style. Alec didn't understand most of the questions, but he answered them anyways.

At first Alec had thought that he was sleep deprived, but he began to get a sneaking suspicion that it was Magnus' survey. He was right in the middle of, _"On a scale of Ellen to my grandmother how much do you like cats?"_ and he couldn't trying to figure out which side of the scale was which and how he was supposed to pick something in between. He couldn't even begin to imagine how he was supposed to write an essay on the topic. But alas, Magnus had given him a total of eight pages for his response, writing: "spare no detail!"

"Magnus," Alec said, drawing Magnus attention away from the calculus book that was perched on his knees, "are any of these questions actually related?"

"It's statistics Alec, everything is related."

They sat in relative silence for a little while longer, the only sounds being Magnus humming peppy pop songs under his breath and the scratching of pen and pencil on paper. Alec was startled out of the calm by a chime and Magnus pulling out his phone - Alec couldn't figure how he fit anything in his pockets when his paints were almost painted on.

Magnus had gotten a text from god knows who and stopped doing Alec's homework to answer. Alec felt like telling him to get back to doing the homework, but there was something about the smile on Magnus' face that stopped him.

It was a genuine, open smile, not like the snarky ones that Magnus had given him earlier when he was attempting to remove Alec's eye with a bic pen. It made Magnus almost look _attractive._ And it was kind of freaking Alec out. Hoping that his face wasn't as flushed as it felt, Alec quickly ducked his head back down and scribbled something about wanting to be Robin Hood as a kid.

But he couldn't get Magnus out of his head. A seed had been planted in his head and for the next two hours, it was all that Alec could think about. He caught himself looking up at Magnus and getting stuck staring at him - and Magnus caught him too, always giving Alec the same smile.

It was almost five when they started talking again. "Magnus, I'm super confused." Alec admitted, staring at the page in front of him.

"About what?"

"I need to talk about my family?"

"Is that hard? You could leave that bit blank if it's too personal or anything."

"It's not?" Alec shrugged. "I just don't get why it's important. I mean they're important to me, but it's all just going to be drivel about my friends and my parents and stuff."

"So write that." Magnus smiled at him, all lips and no teeth. "Write what they mean to you. Why they make you happy. That kind of thing."

"I don't think I have enough room." Alec mumbled, drawing another smile out of Magnus that was all teeth, sharp, shiny and sparkling. So Alec wrote about his family, trying not to look at Magnus too often. There was something lovely about him. The way that he'd done his eyeliner better than any girl that Alec knew and the way that he smelled like sandalwood and burnt sugar. It shouldn't have been attractive, but it was.

It wasn't just the way he looked either, it was the way that he laughed when Alec read a question aloud and told Magnus that the survey was as crazy as Magnus. It was the way that he seemed to roll with Alec's jabs at him and even return them.

Alec felt like he'd known Magnus for ages and like he wanted to know Magnus better all at once.

Finally, what felt like years later, Alec looked up and closed the package. "I think I'm finally done." He said, leaning back in his chair. "Jesus. That was the world's longest 'short' survey." Alec did the air quotes and everything, just to hear Magnus laugh.

"You did it!"

"I did."

"So," Magnus said, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn, "breakfast?" He stretched his arms over his head and took the survey back from Alec. He opened Alec's door and raised an eyebrow.

"I can't even keep my eyes open." Alec groaned. "I think we're going to have to do a rain check on breakfast."

"How about we go out on Friday?"

"What?" Alec asked, giving Magnus a weird look. "For breakfast?"

"If you want. Or dinner. Even lunch. Brunch." Magnus shrugged. Alec continued to stare at him and Magnus just shook his head. "Oh my goodness. Darling, I'm asking you out on a date."

Alec choked, gaping at Magnus. "I'm sorry what?"

"A date is when-"

"Yeah," Alec said, exasperated, "I know what a date is. But you want to go on one? With _me_?"

"You sound like no one has ever asked you out before." Magnus said, rolling his eyes.

"Well-"

"No fucking way." Magnus put up a hand, throwing it in Alec's face and shaking his head. "You, Alec, are attractive. There is no way in hell that you've been single all this time."

"Yes?" Alec blushed, choosing to look at his feet instead of at Magnus. "I don't know, I'm not very social and I was pretty against being gay in high school so I've never even kissed anyone and why did I tell you that and-"

Alec was cut off by Magnus grabbing him by the collar and kissing him. As a kid, Alec had read a million books, he'd seen a thousand movies, and he'd never understood why the kiss was always so important. The first one, so coveted, like all the others after it were spin-offs and sequels. Alec never got it. But then Magnus was kissing him and his hands were on Magnus' hips and Magnus' tongue was sweeping over Alec's bottom lip. One of Magnus' hands made its way into Alec's hair and lord, Alec got it. Alec was only dimly aware of the sound of the survey hitting the ground.

It was like his body was a live wire, every part of him set ablaze. He wasn't tired anymore, he could barely remember being tired at all. The only thing that he could remember and think about was the taste of Magnus' lips and the way that he smelled. Before Alec could even grasp how completely wonderful Magnus was, he was gone. He was a breath away with a smile on his face and the edges of his perfect eyeliner starting to smudge.

"Okay." Alec said breathlessly.

"What?"

"Is this whole date going to be me saying things and you asking me to repeat them?"

"Oh." Magnus said, his smile turning into a grin and his teeth digging into his bottom lip. "You're saying yes. To me. To the date."

"No," Alec said, "my answer just became fuck yes."

Magnus laughed and kissed Alec one more time, a soft peck on the lips. It was a promise of kisses to come and Alec could get used to this. Alec didn't like being social, he was too awkward and uncomfortable with himself to get used to being around other people. But Magnus? Now there was someone he could get used to.

"You really should sleep." Magnus sighed. "We both should."

"Okay."

Producing a pen out of nowhere and apparently needing no prompting or permission, Magnus wrote his number on Alec's hand in spirally purple writing. Then he smiled that open smile that made Alec's legs turn to liquid and his brain stop working and backed away from Alec. He bent down to scoop up Alec's discarded survey.

"Good night."

Alec laughed. "Good night Magnus."

Looking like he really didn't want to go anywhere, Magnus turned and started walking down the hallway. He got a few doors away before he turned back. Alec was still standing in his own doorway, unable to make himself move to close the door and finally get the sleep he was waiting for.

"One more thing." Magnus said. "You'd better call me. No matter what happens in the next, say, ten minutes. You'd better call."

"Okay?"

"Good." And with that, Magnus was gone.

Confused, but unable to keep the slight smile off his face, Alec walked back into his dorm and closed the door behind him. He grabbed his calculus book from where Magnus had left it and opened up to the page of problems that Magnus had done.

Alec stared at the page. None of the problems were done, but there was a note scrawled at the bottom of the page.

 _Hey Alec. So I don't actually know how to do any calculus. I've never taken calculus. Ever. But I saw you on the lawns like six months ago and thought you were super hot - I'm assuming you think the same about me or do you have a really good excuse for spending so much time staring at my face? Also, I may to may not have bribed a few people in my history class to tell me which dorm was yours… Is this a good time to mention I don't take statistics?_

* * *

 **And Alec still hasn't done any calculus.**

 **xx**


End file.
